90 minutes

I leave for Incheon in 90 minutes. We're all packed and a bit bored, so ready to go. It was a perfect trip. I loved the entire experience (except the rabid mosquitoes)! Now I will love to see my husband, children, family, and friends. I am on my way......YAHOOO!

It's Sunday in Korea and that means.......

And that means today is fly home day. It means goodbye to sweet bulgogi 24/7, goodbye to K Pop on TV, good bye to shopping, palaces, kind and warm hearted guides. Goodbye to kind Holt staff. Goodbye to a once a day trip to the store (mini fridge, no stove). It means good bye to Seoul, the busy streets, smiling faces, motorcycles on the side walk, the busy subway, street vendors, Chilsung Cider, Pororo and Poongie Poongie. It means goodbye to the nice door men, and goodbye to a week off from cooking, laundry and cleaning. It means goodbye to traveling families and KAD's I've met along the way

For Ji-uk it is a monumental goodbye. It is goodbye to Korean citizenship. It is goodbye to being an orphan. It is goodbye to his birth country and foster family.

It is hello to a forever family today. As Harry Holt said "Every child deserves a home of their own."
Today Ji-uk lives the dream of Harry and Bertha Holt, some 56 years after their mission of finding families for children who are without parents.
Today is bittersweet. Ji-uk loses so much today, yet today he gains even more.
Family. Forever.
And dear birth mother, you are here somewhere, where I do not know, but I promise you this, I will love your baby as my own for the rest of his life as a cherished son. He will be loved, he will be in a family for always. He will grow to have tremendous self worth and pride in his Korean heritage. He will grow to know he is a child of God and his life has a plan and a purpose. I will guide him as a loving mother every step of the way.
Goodbye Korea, until next time.

Nighty Night 2

So FM tells me Ji-uk sleeps on a floor mat. He does not sleep in bed with the FP because Ji-uk thrashes about all night. So Night 1 I make him the bed (the hotel has baby floor mats) on the floor he sleeps there, and takes naps there. He flops around like a fish in his sleep as forewarned. Tonight he wakes up crying in his sleep (grief) and I ask him if he wants to sleep in bed with me. Yes, he does. Awww! Cute! He is a micro preemie bed hog, this little turkey takes up a full size bed! He sleeps lightly and fusses in his sleep, which is to be expected. I'm just happy tonight he wanted to be with me on purpose. It's 4 a.m. here and I usually wake up early, he was so cute and tiny laying there sleeping. Omma bliss.

True Colors

Ji-uk is silly, giggly, and super busy! He just dumped a bag of chips on the floor, crushed a some under his Robeez, ran a few laps in the hallway, pushed all the buttons on the phone, came over for a hug, and the hit repeat! In Korean he is "Mani Pappiyo"-very busy! Indeed. He laughs, dances, loves to eat, and watch cartoons. He hates changing diapers or clothes. He is wonderful!! He is also smaller than I thought. He is so much fun. I can't wait for all my loved ones to meet him!

The Reception Center

I visited the reception center. They loaned me a mosquito repeller electric thingy, so far it has a strong smell, I have high hopes!!!! Go away moki! The babies there were so cute! I got to hold, feed and play with them! Their parents are lucky, each child is so special. Ji-uk enjoyed having pals to play toys with too. After the reception center, it was lunch time. Mark and I had "Potato Cheese Fondue Pizza" at Pizza Hut for lunch today. It was awesome. Ji-uk loved the salad bar, including green apple jello and yogurt! Needless to say their menu is totally different, and way more fun than the US's Pizza Hut. Ji-uk is taking a snooze. I think I will join him. He is really starting to like me. It helps that I'm the lady with the chocolate milk! :)

AYE GOO MOKI!!!!

There are mosquitoes in the guest house. Ji-uk and I look like we have the chicken pox, Ji-uk looks worse!
Moki in Korean, are killing me!!!!!! I hope they go away! We may have to move to another hotel.

Life after the nap.

Ji-uk woke up ready for action. Mark (my KAD pal here) and I headed out for bulgogi. Ji-uk had a bottle, but I also spoon fed him rice and bulgogi broth (Seoul style bulgogi is simmered table side in a sweet beef broth with glass noodles, mushrooms and onions). When he wanted a bite, he let out a shrill chirp like a hungry eaglet! It was very loud and made people laugh! Then we took him to 7-Eleven for more chocolate milk :) Next we played toys together on the floor and watched cartoons-some lame anime "western"! Ji-uk needed a diaper change and jammies. I put him in "footie" pajamas-he FREAKED out! He does not like pajamas with built in feet!!!!!! Good to know. After I changed his pajamas to a more suitable selection I layed him down and rubbed his tummy as his eyes got heavy. Just before he fell asleep he put his hand on mine. My heart is happy. Good night Ji-uk...I hope you sleep through the night.
I miss my kids at home fiercely too. I can't wait to see them. I have never been away from baby girl. It's tough. I miss my whole family. Hoping tomorrow goes well!

Chocolate Milk, the elixir of attachment!

Ji-uk is sleeping. I discovered his weakness right away-"chocolate milk". After glugging down a whole bottle he fell sound asleep. The foster mother and Holt staff luncheon was wonderful!!!! I loved seeing all my foster mothers and Holt staff. It was the first time I saw Mrs. Lee too. It was so fun. The food was incredible. Mrs. Oh of course loaded down Ha-neul with so many wonderful gifts! Mrs. Yi spoiled Ji-su too. Mrs. Go sent Ji-uk with a ton of toys, which have been very helpful. I filled a baby tub full of toys and used it as a toy box. Ji-uk loves that. Well, I think I'll try a nap while Ji-uk sleep. Who knows what night will bring? I hope to have dinner with Mark, my cool KAD friend. Hopefully Ji-uk will sleep well tonight. Keep us and our transition in your prayers, please.

This may be my last post of the trip....

It is early Friday morning about 4:30 a.m. Today is monumental. I will start by having breakfast with Mark, my new pal. He is a KAD (Korean Adult Adoptee)-I am meeting a lot of adoptees, it rocks. Then I will get ready to host a party. I am hosting both of my AMAZING Holt Korea social workers, Mrs.You and Mrs.Lee, along with Mrs.Oh, Mrs.Yi, and Mrs.Go, my children's beloved foster mothers in Seoul. We are having a luncheon. I am so excited!!!! I miss them very much. I have not seen Mrs. Lee yet, nor Mrs. Oh, I keep missing her by minutes. I am looking forward to seeing Mrs. Yi as well. It's been a year. After lunch is "Gotcha Day". I will become Ji-uk's mother forever. I am thrilled! I am thinking of the sadness the foster mother will feel. She is such a sweet person. Ji-uk will be upset too. But I know he will soon be in a loving forever home where he will be cherished, adored and most of all loved by parents, siblings, halmonies, haraboji, emo's, etc...His new life will begin, his old life will be treasured, and never forgotten.

I may not get to post again with an active toddler, but when I get home, I will post palace, baby, shopping, train, airplane, and Seoul photos.
Gamsahamnida!!!

INSADONG

Ahh, the Insadong arts and shopping district! How I love it! I bought Ji-uk the most beautiful traditional Celadon Korean vase. I bought a few gifts for family and had an amazing lunch with my guide in a restaurant called "Chon". We had a sweet, crunchy chicken dish and the most tender Galbi with mushrooms I have ever had. It was such a special occasion. It was so delicious! I has a chop made for Ji-uk and got some cool Korean Hangul papers. I bought my husband a tie (he gets a tie from every adoption trip-it's our family tradition). The boys got socks,I know, they were $1-I have to do better.... I got Ji-su a mini Hanbok exactly like her own Hanbok for her doll for $10, it is so cute. I bought some artwork too. I wanted to buy so much more, alas there is "reality".

Insadong and the palace adventure put us racing the clock to be back at Holt Korea by 3:00. We hailed a taxi. My first taxi ride in Seoul. We got stuck in traffic. I had an appointment to see Ji-uk again and see him have his "pre-flight physical". I made tremendous progress at that meeting. He played with me, he let me bounce him on my knee, and tickle him. It's not all rosey just yet, but a huge step in the right direction. I feel more at peace. All and all today was simply perfect. Like all they days here have been so far.

14th Century Splendor!

Today I saw the "Gyeong Bok Gung Palace". The morning started out with a monsoon style down pour! I was so afraid they would cancel my trip. My guide today was perfect, sweet and also working on her masters in teaching English and soon social work. Her name was Ji-hui, I adore her as much as my first guide. First we went to the palace. It was as if time stood still in the heart of one of the worlds largest, and most metropolitan cities in the world. The best part was the misty fog around the palace. It was a photography dream come true. Mist in the surrounding mountains. The guards came out and it was amazing.
I can't explain what a moving cultural experience it was. I must have taken about 175 photos at least. It was great. I felt very emotional there. The rich culture was a moving experience.Adoption aside, the architecture was beyond breath taking, that this amazing place belongs to your children and their ancestry was enough to make a few tears escape. I can't wait to post the palace photos on my blog!

**GWANGJU CITY**

I'm so tired I can't even type. The trip to Gwangju was nothing short of a miracle. I met Ji-uk's first foster mother. In Gwangju they only have 10 or so foster mothers (in Seoul, I've heard there are over 600). Mrs. Cho has fostered since the 1980's over 280 children!!!!! She was so kind and so sweet!!! Both of Ji-uk's foster mothers are amazing, sweet, and so kind! I met 2 Holt Gwangju social workers. I can not convey the pure kindness I was shown by all today. Their grace was awe inspiring. They told me Ji-uk's birth mother was so very, very beautiful, and she had lovely features. They said Ji-uk has many of her attributes. There is so much more, but it is deeply personal. My guide took me to a mandu restaurant, and we took our snacks on the train. I left the hotel at 8:45 a.m. and returned at 9:35 p.m. I'm so tired, 7 hours of "Bullet Train" travel (so FAST) and over an hour of subway travel. I will write more when I wake up in the middle of the night with the "jet lag"...wide awake at 3 a.m., like clockwork most nights.

What an adventure!

Last night I went to dinner with a Holt Forum pal from NJ! We had a great time. Staying in my hotel, 2 rooms down is a young man in his late 20's from Paris. He is a Korean adult adoptee, hoping to meet his birth family later today. He also joined us for dinner. Here we were, a west coast AP, an east coast AP, a Parisian adoptee, eating Korean food in Seoul in a restaurant run by Chinese Koreans! LOVE IT!!!! I am up at 3 a.m. writing this. I have a rockin' stomach ache! Lots of "gochujang" (Korean red pepper paste), raw garlic, and a Twix bar are fighting in my tummy! Weak American! I think the raw garlic is the main culprit.....
Holt Korea is rolling out the red carpet for me tomorrow. I will get to go to my child's birth city in the south of South Korea. I will get to meet the Holt social worker there and possibly meet Ji-uk's first foster mother. I am so amazed. I would have been happy just to have lunch there and do a little bit of shopping. Sounds like it will be an adventure to remember for a lifetime. I'll post all about it when I return. I think it's a 3 hour train ride...so don't wait up ;). No, I leave at 10 a.m....just trying to be funny- jet lag.
I also earned an extra meeting with Ji-uk. That will be on Thursday. Ji-uk is not fond of me. I'm like the "Little Mermaid" over here I have 3 days to get him to like me!!! So far he likes the toys and snacks, but not me.....I'll just have to get more toys and more snacks! It'd work on me!
Wish me luck as I take on Gwangju City!

Hooray for Bulgogi!

So, I've been in Korea 24 hours and have not been to a Korean restaurant yet....lame. I'm excited to go to eat, and even more excited to be going with a pal I met on mt adoptive parents Holt Forum. I am having dinner with "Tiggergirl" aka Kim from NJ....Or is it Philly.....
Anyway, I am looking forward to having a gal pal to dine with and chat it up. I was just watching "Glee". I don't watch that show at home, and when I get to watch TV, it one of the few episodes I have seen! HA! Mom, I watched "Tabitha's Salon Take Over on Korea's fashion network, that was fun. I am so sleepy, I broke a huge "Jet Lag" tenant-I did take an hour long nap, and it was wonderful, until I awoke to the nastiest paint fumes of some restripeing (sp?) of a few parking spaces outside my window. Smells like spray paint. Good times.
I am so worried about Ji-uk. It's been on my mind quite a bit today. He will not transition easily at first. I have done this enough times to recognize that fear. Which of course is a developmental gold mine for attachment, that he loves her so very much, but it will be difficult for him to say the very least. Pray for him if you are so inclined. He could use it. Maybe someone reading in my family could you put his name on the prayer rolls?
I am wondering if I'm the only one going out to eat dinner in Seoul tonight with a laminated sign explaining my allergies, 2 Epi-pens, a box of Benedryl, a box of Cemedine, and an inhaler! How knew eating out could be so risky......
I hate it when I ingest protiens that my body can't process and then they attack my airway and digestive system. Bunk. :) Wish me luck...I can't eat yogurt and chips
all week, so here it goes....

I just had the most amazing experience!!!

I LOVE Ji-uk!!!! He is so cute!!!!!!!!! Oh he was dressed so cute!!! I saw Dr. Cho and it was so nice to see her. I started to cry as soon as Ji-uk walked in the door. He is a beautiful child. His foster mother is so kind, warm hearted and perfect. Ji-uk's foster sister really liked Ji-uk and she was also very sweet. I have only met Mrs.You in passing before, she is great. She was so helpful.

Ji-uk did not want me to hold him at all. Meigooksaram Omma is no good right now! But he loved the gerber baby puffs and the Pororo microphone toy I bought him! He also played Gak-koo with me (Korean peek-a-boo).

Mrs.Go was too generous to me and game me a gorgeous heirloom set of metal inlayed chopsticks and matching spoons. I can't wait to use them on a special Korean meal.

There really are not a whole lot of words to describe today's meeting. I just love Ji-uk, and he is a perfect child. I miss him terribly already, but the feeling is not mutual, so I get an extra meeting with him on Thursday, and I become his new mother on Friday (it's Tuesday here now). I fly home Sunday evening.

Tomorrow I will go to Gwangju City to see where Ji-uk was born, the city must be beautiful, and I hear the cuisine in Gwangju is heavenly. I am very excited. I have never been outside of Seoul, this will be a treasured experience for sure!

Thursday I get a new guide, and I am going to check out some palaces, and shop!!!!

Now I can going to try to eat some "Seoul Food" without going into anaphalytic shock, and dying! Wish me luck, I'm starving and allergic to much of Korean cuisine, but what i can eat I just LOVE!!!
I will stop by some Parisian Bakeries and get some sandwiches to take back to the hotel room for later..
I also hope to have dinner with a family from NJ tonight.
I also met a couple adopting from Norway who were wonderful!!
Day One- amazing!!!!!!!!!

"I'm a Seoul mom......"

I made it! Not only did I make it, I actually did really well!! I knew where I was going the whole time! When I got my suit case, the zipper had split open on an outside pocket, and I haven't figured out what I've lost yet, if anything, but someone else's library book was shoved in there, so I just sent it back around on the baggage carousel. My asthma is doing great (had a NASTY flare up right before I left-week or so, first time in over a decade). So happy to report the nice, clean, brisk Seoul air is so far in my favor. I meet Ji-uk in about 6 hours (it's around 4 a.m. here). I got a brutal charlie horse in both calves back at the hotel.....good times. They give you 2 oz of water on the flight to keep you out of the bathroom! Dehydration and 12 hours of sitting can do that to a mom.They had WONDERFUL food on the flight, I can't explain this dish to do it justice, but they had a Korean potato salad, a lot like "Resers" very familiar tasting, but they used minced pumpkin in it too....rockin' good!!!!!!! I met an adoptive family at PDX who was on their way to Mexico for vacation, and when I arrived in Seoul, a family adopting from my Holt BB group "Castlemaine" was arriving at the same time! We share a van ride together. Her and her DH were so nice!! Great and very interesting people.
I went to 7-Eleven as soon as I got in, bought some juice and yogurt..really exciting literary piece, I know...I meet my son very soon, and will post when I get back to the hotel. I love you all!

TODAY!!!

Today kicks off my adventure into motherhood once again. I have a hair apt, and a shower in a few hours. I can hardly wait!!!!! Each minute feels like an hour!!! Soon I will be off to Seoul!!! Let the fun begin!!!!!

When it rains it pours.....

Tomorrow a few of my pals are throwing me a baby shower. It's really too much, my protests fell on deaf ears, and I can hardly wait to party with some of my dearest friends.

NEW PHOTOS OF MY BABY

My internet pal from Mississippi met Ji-uk yesterday! Too cute!!!!! Enjoy!!!

Leaving on Sunday!

I'll be in Seoul Sunday to Sunday! I have the trip of a lifetime planned. I am really looking forward to hosting a luncheon with all 3 of my foster mother's and Mrs. Lee. It will be amazing!!! I will post a ton of photos when I return home! Thanks for all the love and support!!!

8:58 a.m.

I RECEIVED YOUR OFFICIAL TRAVEL CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M MAKING TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TC this week?

Will I get TC this week? I can hardly stand the anticipation! I am 80% packed! I'm so ready to go to Seoul.

EA!!!!!

The DC operator saw your sweet face!!!!! You have made an appearance!!!!
I think travel call next week is not out of the question!!!!!

No TC this week.

Sad. I can't even explain it. It hurts so bad. Next week has to be the week, what's left? Living the slow life.......
I wish I could elaborate.
And if one more person says "Just enjoy the kids you have now", I'm going to tell them to stuff it!!
Really? Just because you have one child not home doesn't mean you are not enjoying your children already home?! That notion is RIDICULOUS!!!!! I love my kids. We have made a Korean meal, played monster trucks, had nap time, read a story, and they day is not even half over!!! Does it mean that I shouldn't miss the child I have been matched with for over 5 months if I am now parenting!? Lamest piece of unsolicited adoption advice ever. I do love my children with every fiber of my being, but that can not erase the pain of a long wait. They are apples and oranges!!!!!

Where my love of Korea began.

I loved Korea as a child. My middle school art teacher Ok-ji Radda was 1st generation Korean. She taught me art from 5th to 8th grade. In 6th grade we had "school culture day". She dressed me in her very own Hanbok for me to wear to the library during the celebration. It was cream, gold and spring green, with lots of embroidery. It was beautiful! She was wonderful and taught us many global arts including Korean "ink brush painting". She told us her father was a national calligrapher in some part of Korea (I can't remember where now). She was very influential. I ended up going to college for Fine Arts, my school was connected to our major metropolitan art museum, I saw her there one day, she was volunteering giving tours, maybe she was a museum docent? We hugged, and told her I was a fine arts student with a split major of graphic arts and print making. I told her how she had given me my foundation in art, and that I always admired her.
As a child I also took very strict and very traditional Tae Kwon Do for many years. There I was introduced to Korean attitudes about sportsmanship, and Korean values for personal growth (as a little kid)! I was also introduced to the language. It was more serious than lessons are now for children (we attended 5 days a week). We punched the floors, ran bare footed on the side walks to build callouses on our knuckles and soles of our feet. I learned to love the Korean sprit of martial arts and it's connection to character and personal discipline. I'm thinking of taking it up again, my instructors still teach so I hear.

One day in 7th grade Mrs. Radda'a parents were visiting her from Korea, she told us her parents were in their 80's and spoke no english. The girl I was sitting next to, Heather, also studied Tae Kwon Do with me. As Mrs. Radda's parents left our class room to go to our teacher's home they smiled and waved good bye to us kids, Heather a spry red head said "Should we do it? Say thanks?" As the darling elderly couple left the class of smiling and waving 7th graders, we in unison said "Gomsahapnida!!". The look on their faces-priceless! Mrs. Radda said "You didn't tell me you could speak any Korean!?!?" We giggled and said "You never asked."

Now I love Korea through honoring my children and their heritage. I have been to Korea and have continued my love of the Land of the Morning Calm.

It's WEDNESDAY in Seoul!!!!

One of your last appointments before you can come home will happen very soon!!! It is scheduled for Wednesday, and it is Wednesday in Korea!!!! Sending my son prayers and hope from across the ocean.

Blues are more than 12 Bar progression...

... at my house. I have the blues! Maybe a bit of the angry reds too. And the greens-envy. A handful of people on the adoption Korea forum have received travel call. I have not. I have waited longer than some, but not all. The DC Visa line is down due to snow storms, so I can't track any progress that may have been made. I'm bummed out. I'm approaching the 6 month from match and it is difficult. It doesn't even feel real. I love my sweet little Gwangju Miracle baby! Who in now a toddler......

The Puzzle

One of the last pieces of the puzzle will fall into place with your paperwork next week!!! We all love, and miss you so much! I'm even starting to pack our suit cases!!!!

New Photos!

New Photos! I sent 3 care packages, here are photos from 2 of them!!! I am thrilled to see new photos of you!!!!!