Despair is fighting with faith like a Mike Tyson in between my ears. It's a minute by minute roller coaster. I am just aching over that mail box.
PLEASE just repeats over and over in my head, like a broken record. Please BE IN THE MAILBOX,
please. I can hardly stand the agony. It is maddening. I'm so ready for my documents, some times I wonder if I do just let go and cry will it be a release of upset so I can more forward or tangible evidence of my small faith? Maybe my faith isn't small. I think it is hard to wait, even if intellectually you know it will happen......
I want it today. I want the mail man to be here now. With two envelopes with 2 approvals. I want a lot of things.
I am surrounded by life moving forward and yet I feel stuck on pause.
Really, I am so overcome with a bleak, and aching feeling, my words are stuck.......
Please, soon. It is painful. If I could do anything, eat bugs, whatever to get my documents today, I would. Adoption is waiting today.
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